TORN
Time for another blog post after all it has been a few months...
We moved! Yup...old news now...LOL!
I could go on a tangent about that but well...that is not what I wanted to blog about...
Time to VENT!
I am confident I am not the only mother who feels this way but I am so FRUSTRATED and torn with the idea of being a "perfect" mom. What is perfect anyway? Okay I realize I will never be the perfect mom but as a mom we have to make decisions.
Background:
I grew up with chores. I was cooking by the time I was 10. (if not earlier) But I don't remember having homework in Elementary School (except reading) and honestly my parents never pushed the reading on me. I was never involved in extra curricular activities until High School. I never had piano. Never participated in Soccer, or Volley ball, or basket ball. I never had swim lessons. I learned all of my musical talent IN school. I started violin in 4th grade. Was I ever very good. NOPE! Maybe because I didn't have private lessons. Maybe it just wasn't my thing. I don't know...I came home from school and did little chores and played until dinner time. (back then it felt like 4 hours). I think we use to eat at 8:00. Then we went to bed. The weekends we had our heavy duty chores and then played some more. Then when I got into Jr. High I had homework but I still had time to get chores done, practice my violin and play with my friends. Has anything really changed that much? Where does time go? Did I go to bed that much later than my own?
So here I am in the NOW! (I won't say how many years later) struggling with the idea that I NEED to teach my kids life skills. How to brush their teeth every night and day. How to cook. How to clean. But still follow their dreams.
HOW IN THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT? I mean my kids have 2 hours of homework a night. 4 for Natali plus practicing their instruments. They don't even have time to play with friends on the weekdays because of homework/church activities, piano lessons. ETC...so when do they have time to do housework?
And then me thinking I have to live in a pig sty until the weekend just so that I can teach my kids how to clean. (don't get me wrong. I try to keep things tidy for the most part) but My kids were use to going to bed at 8 before we moved and it worked well. They got plenty of sleep and were not grouchy. If they were up til 8:30 they were horrible getting to bed because they were so tired and emotional...CRAZY. Now church activities are generally later. Natali is in a whole other world with school that she is up doing homework after dinner and is lucky to get to bed by 9. My other kids we are lucky if they are in bed by 8:30 (although now that rarely happens)
So I have bathrooms scheduled for cleaning Friday after school. But honestly. I just want my kids to be able to be kids and go out and play with their friends. PLUS! If I wait for them to come home and do it then I have to do it at the same time (just how I have it set up we have partners we team up with to clean a specified bathroom...me included). I don't want to wait. I want to get it cleaned NOW! So here I am avoiding cleaning to do it when they get home.
But let's get real. WHAT child wants to clean the moment they come in the door. They want a snack and a chance to breathe. Being Friday I feel like I am torturing them by making them clean the moment they get home. But I have to make dinner at six (generally speaking) so waiting to do it later really isn't an option either. How do I balance this out and make everyone happy. Then Saturday...don't get me started on Saturdays...This is actually the day I would prefer to just do it ALL. (besides the occasional load of laundry during the week etc...) I would really like to clean on Saturday mornings and just get it done.
BUT EVERYTHING GETS SCHEDULED FOR SATURDAYS!!! Vacations, moving, parties, Nathan's sporting events, that is the day the kids help clean dad's office and so guess what gets left undone...the house...okay...vent over. I realize it all works out in the end. But it doesn't help that I like organization. I like it to be done on time and without delay. I just am not a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of girl. I'm just not...and I look at families that have more on their plate than I do and do they manage to do it all? Sigh...
We moved! Yup...old news now...LOL!
I could go on a tangent about that but well...that is not what I wanted to blog about...
Time to VENT!
I am confident I am not the only mother who feels this way but I am so FRUSTRATED and torn with the idea of being a "perfect" mom. What is perfect anyway? Okay I realize I will never be the perfect mom but as a mom we have to make decisions.
Background:
I grew up with chores. I was cooking by the time I was 10. (if not earlier) But I don't remember having homework in Elementary School (except reading) and honestly my parents never pushed the reading on me. I was never involved in extra curricular activities until High School. I never had piano. Never participated in Soccer, or Volley ball, or basket ball. I never had swim lessons. I learned all of my musical talent IN school. I started violin in 4th grade. Was I ever very good. NOPE! Maybe because I didn't have private lessons. Maybe it just wasn't my thing. I don't know...I came home from school and did little chores and played until dinner time. (back then it felt like 4 hours). I think we use to eat at 8:00. Then we went to bed. The weekends we had our heavy duty chores and then played some more. Then when I got into Jr. High I had homework but I still had time to get chores done, practice my violin and play with my friends. Has anything really changed that much? Where does time go? Did I go to bed that much later than my own?
So here I am in the NOW! (I won't say how many years later) struggling with the idea that I NEED to teach my kids life skills. How to brush their teeth every night and day. How to cook. How to clean. But still follow their dreams.
HOW IN THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT? I mean my kids have 2 hours of homework a night. 4 for Natali plus practicing their instruments. They don't even have time to play with friends on the weekdays because of homework/church activities, piano lessons. ETC...so when do they have time to do housework?
And then me thinking I have to live in a pig sty until the weekend just so that I can teach my kids how to clean. (don't get me wrong. I try to keep things tidy for the most part) but My kids were use to going to bed at 8 before we moved and it worked well. They got plenty of sleep and were not grouchy. If they were up til 8:30 they were horrible getting to bed because they were so tired and emotional...CRAZY. Now church activities are generally later. Natali is in a whole other world with school that she is up doing homework after dinner and is lucky to get to bed by 9. My other kids we are lucky if they are in bed by 8:30 (although now that rarely happens)
So I have bathrooms scheduled for cleaning Friday after school. But honestly. I just want my kids to be able to be kids and go out and play with their friends. PLUS! If I wait for them to come home and do it then I have to do it at the same time (just how I have it set up we have partners we team up with to clean a specified bathroom...me included). I don't want to wait. I want to get it cleaned NOW! So here I am avoiding cleaning to do it when they get home.
But let's get real. WHAT child wants to clean the moment they come in the door. They want a snack and a chance to breathe. Being Friday I feel like I am torturing them by making them clean the moment they get home. But I have to make dinner at six (generally speaking) so waiting to do it later really isn't an option either. How do I balance this out and make everyone happy. Then Saturday...don't get me started on Saturdays...This is actually the day I would prefer to just do it ALL. (besides the occasional load of laundry during the week etc...) I would really like to clean on Saturday mornings and just get it done.
BUT EVERYTHING GETS SCHEDULED FOR SATURDAYS!!! Vacations, moving, parties, Nathan's sporting events, that is the day the kids help clean dad's office and so guess what gets left undone...the house...okay...vent over. I realize it all works out in the end. But it doesn't help that I like organization. I like it to be done on time and without delay. I just am not a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of girl. I'm just not...and I look at families that have more on their plate than I do and do they manage to do it all? Sigh...
