Gratitude
I have been wanting to blog for some time. But as a mother of 5 I find it very difficult to find the extra time between bathing kids, making breakfast, lunch or dinner, running errands, shopping, cleaning and my occasional exercise sessions or television downtime.
I often find myself talking to myself and often praying silently to myself. I find these times are usually in the car driving. I think about all I have and how far I have come in my life and am not exactly sure what I was expecting from life exactly or where I thought I would be but I must say where I am at "now" in my life is NOT at all what I imagined in my mind.
I have been raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was baptized at the age of 8 because I "thought" then that is what I needed to do and should do. Maybe because I was "raised" that way maybe it was the Spirit of Christ telling me then that is what I needed to do. BUT...I did NOT understand the Gospel in it's entirety. In fact, looking back...I don't think I understand much of it's doctrine at that age at all. But one thing I know for sure is that I am grateful for making that "grown up" decision to be baptized. I see children (some of my own) make that decision to be baptized, follow the commandments, take the name of Christ upon themselves and watch them share what they believe with their friends with no concerns as they do. I wish I was that fearless.
But growing up in church the one thing that was always taught me over and over and over again is that if we keep the commandments, follow Jesus Christ, take His name upon us and "choose the right" that we would be blessed and receive those blessing of life and goals that we set for ourselves. I was taught that if I lived worthy to attend the temple that I would marry a man that would one day take me there to the "House of the Lord." Some of those requirements that are asked of us to reach those goals were honestly to the world crazy. Like obeying the Word of Wisdom (a law of health where we sustain from coffee, alcohol, tobacco, "street" drugs and eating healthy foods (food pyramid pretty much) that we would be blessed. Also the "Law of Chastity" (dressing modestly, keeping our thoughts and minds clean of impure thoughts, no sexual relationships before marriage...etc..) to most those might be some hard things to ask. But looking back now, I am glad I made the decision to keep my mind and body "clean" in a sense of the word from those things.
In 2007 I was admitted to the hospital with atrial fibrillation. 3 months after giving birth to my third child. I think I was asked the question more than a dozen of times when did I drink my last alcoholic beverage (I don't drink), they then asked when was the last time you smoked or had anything with caffeine in it? (again my answer was I don't partake of either) NOT one Dr. or nurse believe me when I told them that I refrain from all of those (now just for the record caffeine is not something we are asked to "refrain" from in the Word of Wisdom. But I chose in college not to drink it because of something I learned in a college class regarding caffeine and child birth. I wanted LOTS of kids and wanted healthy ones (and I wasn't the healthiest person) so I wanted to do all I could to have healthy kids and uncomplicated pregnancies so I quit drinking my Dr. Pepper for that reason not because my "religion" told me not to.
Anyway where I am going with this. I am grateful for all those decisions because after all I have been through with my health. If I had decided to take up smoking, drinking etc...I think I would have shortened my lifespan considerably and I truly believe my 5 miracles that make up our family may not all be here. I am extremely grateful that I was able to have my large family, even though not as large as I had hoped. I am truly blessed to have all that I have BECAUSE I am following the teachings of our Savior. Because I am doing all that I He requires of me. I do believe I am better off because of those teachings.
I am not saying that those who don't have my beliefs don't feel the same way I do. I am sure there are many out there that feel the way I do. But I am constantly reflecting on what life is all about. Finding joy! Not in a million years did I ever think I would marry a man as compatible to me as I did when I found Nathan. And as many of you know I wasn't the easiest girlfriend for him. He is a miracle in my life just as much as my children. I can't believe how much he understands me as a person. I feel like he has known me far longer than the 12 years we have been married. He knows what makes me tick, he knows what makes me "explode" he knows how to calm the flames. He is a gift. My kids are a gift. My friends and my immediate family are a gift. I am overcome with how much I have in this life. The joy that is evident!
I am grateful that for the knowledge of the Gospel that I know I will have all of this in the eternities because of the blessings and covenants we make in the temples. Just looking at all these things and receiving these "gifts" when I feel that they are above and beyond what I could have ever asked or dreamed for I see how much my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ loves me. I hope that the way that I am living my life may be a "gift" back to them.
I am filled with so much gratitude and so grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to experience the joy on this mortal journey we call "life". Life is good!
I often find myself talking to myself and often praying silently to myself. I find these times are usually in the car driving. I think about all I have and how far I have come in my life and am not exactly sure what I was expecting from life exactly or where I thought I would be but I must say where I am at "now" in my life is NOT at all what I imagined in my mind.
I have been raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was baptized at the age of 8 because I "thought" then that is what I needed to do and should do. Maybe because I was "raised" that way maybe it was the Spirit of Christ telling me then that is what I needed to do. BUT...I did NOT understand the Gospel in it's entirety. In fact, looking back...I don't think I understand much of it's doctrine at that age at all. But one thing I know for sure is that I am grateful for making that "grown up" decision to be baptized. I see children (some of my own) make that decision to be baptized, follow the commandments, take the name of Christ upon themselves and watch them share what they believe with their friends with no concerns as they do. I wish I was that fearless.
But growing up in church the one thing that was always taught me over and over and over again is that if we keep the commandments, follow Jesus Christ, take His name upon us and "choose the right" that we would be blessed and receive those blessing of life and goals that we set for ourselves. I was taught that if I lived worthy to attend the temple that I would marry a man that would one day take me there to the "House of the Lord." Some of those requirements that are asked of us to reach those goals were honestly to the world crazy. Like obeying the Word of Wisdom (a law of health where we sustain from coffee, alcohol, tobacco, "street" drugs and eating healthy foods (food pyramid pretty much) that we would be blessed. Also the "Law of Chastity" (dressing modestly, keeping our thoughts and minds clean of impure thoughts, no sexual relationships before marriage...etc..) to most those might be some hard things to ask. But looking back now, I am glad I made the decision to keep my mind and body "clean" in a sense of the word from those things.
In 2007 I was admitted to the hospital with atrial fibrillation. 3 months after giving birth to my third child. I think I was asked the question more than a dozen of times when did I drink my last alcoholic beverage (I don't drink), they then asked when was the last time you smoked or had anything with caffeine in it? (again my answer was I don't partake of either) NOT one Dr. or nurse believe me when I told them that I refrain from all of those (now just for the record caffeine is not something we are asked to "refrain" from in the Word of Wisdom. But I chose in college not to drink it because of something I learned in a college class regarding caffeine and child birth. I wanted LOTS of kids and wanted healthy ones (and I wasn't the healthiest person) so I wanted to do all I could to have healthy kids and uncomplicated pregnancies so I quit drinking my Dr. Pepper for that reason not because my "religion" told me not to.
Anyway where I am going with this. I am grateful for all those decisions because after all I have been through with my health. If I had decided to take up smoking, drinking etc...I think I would have shortened my lifespan considerably and I truly believe my 5 miracles that make up our family may not all be here. I am extremely grateful that I was able to have my large family, even though not as large as I had hoped. I am truly blessed to have all that I have BECAUSE I am following the teachings of our Savior. Because I am doing all that I He requires of me. I do believe I am better off because of those teachings.
I am not saying that those who don't have my beliefs don't feel the same way I do. I am sure there are many out there that feel the way I do. But I am constantly reflecting on what life is all about. Finding joy! Not in a million years did I ever think I would marry a man as compatible to me as I did when I found Nathan. And as many of you know I wasn't the easiest girlfriend for him. He is a miracle in my life just as much as my children. I can't believe how much he understands me as a person. I feel like he has known me far longer than the 12 years we have been married. He knows what makes me tick, he knows what makes me "explode" he knows how to calm the flames. He is a gift. My kids are a gift. My friends and my immediate family are a gift. I am overcome with how much I have in this life. The joy that is evident!
I am grateful that for the knowledge of the Gospel that I know I will have all of this in the eternities because of the blessings and covenants we make in the temples. Just looking at all these things and receiving these "gifts" when I feel that they are above and beyond what I could have ever asked or dreamed for I see how much my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ loves me. I hope that the way that I am living my life may be a "gift" back to them.
I am filled with so much gratitude and so grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to experience the joy on this mortal journey we call "life". Life is good!
