Exercise...

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My exercising frustrations...warning vent...exit now if you don't want to hear it. Let it be known...this may be a shock to some if you know me well and my health hiccups...I LOVE to exercise. I actually really love going for a walk or even for a run (at my own pace) or dancing or biking and then after working up a sweat feeling like my lungs are "free" I am not sure how to explain it but I love the feeling of being able to really "breathe" when you are all done with exercise. I admit I have limitations but when I do get to exercise I really love it if I could do so without hinderments.  My frustrations is that as a mother...my exercise consists of switching laundry, ironing, running errands such as grocery shopping, making beds, cleaning toilets, and cooking dinner. WHOOPDIDOO! Unfortunately that doesn't give me that "free" feeling of a good workout.

So I have tried to do other things like walking with friends. I love hanging with my friends and talking and catching up but unfortunately I feel like it isn't exercise it is just that hanging and talking (even though we are walking( not that that is a bad thing) but when I have to take children they slow me down when I want to be doing a fast walk or maybe even bust out in a run for five minutes and when you are with a friend you have to coordinate with each others issues. I can't do a full on run like some of my friends can. I can only do it at my own pace so I think exercising on my own would be more beneficial since I can do everything at my own speed. But the only times I can go OUT to exercise (besides at home) is really early in the morning (which actually is impossible now because that is Nathan's time to exercise and late at night and it is dark and neither Nathan or I feel comfortable with me going out at night alone.
The one time I did go out at night and walked in the neighborhood with a friend. A car totally turned around and started following us...luckily we were almost home and we picked up pace...it was creepy and it certainly could have all been in my imagination but after someone trying to pick up a good friend of mine and myself as a teenager I tend to be a bit paranoid now. So we started walking at night and then things came up, Nathan had to work late. I was just exhausted by that time...read on...
Anyway...so the other frustration is working out at home. Again, the ONLY time I can do that at home is either the morning or evening before the kids wake up or after the kids go to bed. SO...the problem after a long day of cooking, cleaning, breaking up sibling rivalry and running kids to and from school is I am EXHAUSTED so even leaving late at night to go walking at the park is exhausting...the last thing I want to do it exhaust myself more not to mention it takes my kids sometimes until 10 to finally fall asleep. And I had started trying to work out in the  morning. BUT I get up to do my much needed scripture study at 5:30. I MUST put that first above everything else and even at 5:30 I still have kids getting up when they hear me even with all of my intentions to be quiet. So even at 6 I go to work out and the kids are up and I have tried working out with the kids and unfortunately again, it is fun bonding time with my kids but I don't get that "free" I can breathe freely from those. I don't actually get a "true" workout...
Then everyone keeps telling me take the kids and drop them off at the daycare and go to the gym....I WISH it was just THAT easy when you have to get shopping done in the 2 1/2 hours your other child is at Kindergarten because after lunch the youngest will fall asleep if you try to do shopping then. (although they won't fall asleep UNLESS you get them in the car. Sigh.. Plus on top of that if I am going to get a full work out in with travel time and everything getting kids out of the car and into the gym and checked in to the daycare plus pick them up and get the work out in. I feel like by the time I get over there to actually do something it will be time to turn around and leave to go get Kate. I will not lie. The thing about a gym membership is that I would want to spend the majority of my time swimming. Although I wouldn't mind doing some weights and some treadmills. My focus would be on the classes (preferably dance...if they even offer that) and on swimming. So you add changing from swimming into the mix of the problem and it's a bigger problem.
So then it becomes a waste of time and money...this is where my frustration lies...
Then I hear people tell me...oh...your kids grow up so fast before you know it they will be in school and then you can have your "me" time while they are in school! YES, that is true...time is short and granted one day they will all be in school and I have all that "TIME" plus some to do that and all the other responsibilities I will have then as well as some of the same responsibilities as I have now. BUT what about NOW...don't I deserve that now too?...Isn't there someway to balance that all out now so I can do all those things now. I see women who do it all the time...Why can't I? Am I an exception to the rule? What I am doing wrong that I can't seem to balance it all out? Okay vent over...moving on with my regularly scheduled program

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