Feeling guilty
I wonder if I will get through this guilt ridden pregnancy.
I have laundry still in the laundry room from Monday that needs ironing...I haven't cleaned much at all this week except dishes...(hopefully I will get all of the above done tonight after the kids go to bed...
I wanted so bad to eat healthy with this pregnancy and that has just not happened...I can't stand the smell or look or taste of chicken at all!
I am not eating "sweets" per se as I don't want them at all really, if we go for ice cream I will eat it but I don't necessarily want it.
But I am guilty that the not so good food is the only thing that appeals to me. I am constantly hungry and constantly eating and I am trying hard to find healthy things to snack on. The best I have is Nutrigrain bars and carrots although the carrots don't do me justice on the hunger end of things...the Nutrigrain bars give me about 30 minutes before I start looking for more.
The things my body wants are bean burritos (but not home made) from Del Taco or Taco Bell, Big Mac's, what I like to call "card board" (Totino's frozen) pizza's, Kraft Macaroni and cheese, ...ect...
With Nathan working two nights a week teaching school we are lucky if we eat something healthy. Last night I managed to do spagetti and it really hit the spot as tomato based food usually tastes good to me.
That or eggs and toast. I don't feel like I eat well at all and if I go too long I get snappy. Which makes me feel like a bad Mom...on top of that I am now feeling guilty for wanting and going to girls camp next week. I feel guilty leaving my kids to other people to entertain for that week although I really do feel strongly that I need to be there...so why do I feel guilty?
I am an emotional mess although I put on a good facade. LOL! The last three days I have just wanted to cry...(and have)
I know, I know I am just pregnant and that is just part of it and this has just turned into a rant which also makes me feel guilty. I have so much to be grateful for... I mean I have a Mother in law who is willing to watch my kids all day for two days 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Thanks Mom! and for a great friend who is willing to watch them for a good half of day (but full day for a "work" day) 8-5:30 Thanks Erika!
I really am lucky my kids are good kids and are supportive of me being gone for 4 days without them...and a husband who willingly supports my calling and makes sacrifices so I can serve diligently. And most importantly...
I am healthy!
And many other things I am thankful for that will go unmentioned for now....sorry for the vent but I just had to get it out there....
I have laundry still in the laundry room from Monday that needs ironing...I haven't cleaned much at all this week except dishes...(hopefully I will get all of the above done tonight after the kids go to bed...
I wanted so bad to eat healthy with this pregnancy and that has just not happened...I can't stand the smell or look or taste of chicken at all!
I am not eating "sweets" per se as I don't want them at all really, if we go for ice cream I will eat it but I don't necessarily want it.
But I am guilty that the not so good food is the only thing that appeals to me. I am constantly hungry and constantly eating and I am trying hard to find healthy things to snack on. The best I have is Nutrigrain bars and carrots although the carrots don't do me justice on the hunger end of things...the Nutrigrain bars give me about 30 minutes before I start looking for more.
The things my body wants are bean burritos (but not home made) from Del Taco or Taco Bell, Big Mac's, what I like to call "card board" (Totino's frozen) pizza's, Kraft Macaroni and cheese, ...ect...
With Nathan working two nights a week teaching school we are lucky if we eat something healthy. Last night I managed to do spagetti and it really hit the spot as tomato based food usually tastes good to me.
That or eggs and toast. I don't feel like I eat well at all and if I go too long I get snappy. Which makes me feel like a bad Mom...on top of that I am now feeling guilty for wanting and going to girls camp next week. I feel guilty leaving my kids to other people to entertain for that week although I really do feel strongly that I need to be there...so why do I feel guilty?
I am an emotional mess although I put on a good facade. LOL! The last three days I have just wanted to cry...(and have)
I know, I know I am just pregnant and that is just part of it and this has just turned into a rant which also makes me feel guilty. I have so much to be grateful for... I mean I have a Mother in law who is willing to watch my kids all day for two days 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Thanks Mom! and for a great friend who is willing to watch them for a good half of day (but full day for a "work" day) 8-5:30 Thanks Erika!
I really am lucky my kids are good kids and are supportive of me being gone for 4 days without them...and a husband who willingly supports my calling and makes sacrifices so I can serve diligently. And most importantly...
I am healthy!
And many other things I am thankful for that will go unmentioned for now....sorry for the vent but I just had to get it out there....
